


The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot

by auroraphilealis (athousandrosepetals)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking, Drunk Texting, Frat Boy Phil Lester, M/M, Misunderstandings, Orgy Rerence but no smut, Pining, Pledging, Texting, University, frat boy - Freeform, frat party, fuck boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 05:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13475067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athousandrosepetals/pseuds/auroraphilealis
Summary: Dan has never been a fan of frat houses, and after Phil comes onto him at a frat party and then pushes him into a pool, Dan can’t help feeling vindicated. Phil, on the other hand, just wants to apologize.





	The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [worriedpeach (skeletonflowers)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skeletonflowers/gifts).



> This was written for Rachel (botanistlester) who was desperate for a good frat boy fic with pining. I'm not sure this counts as good, but I did have fun writing it, so that counts for something hahaha.
> 
>  **Disclaimer** : In no way do I pretend that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil.

It wasn’t that Dan was _against_ frats, so to speak. It was just that, well. He wasn’t exactly willing to put himself through all of the torture and torment that was freshers week and pledging, not to mention what actually being _in_ a frat would entail. His best friend had done it all his first year of uni, and while Dan had intended to follow in his footsteps when he joined him the year later, having to listen to Chris throwing up at four in the morning because he’d been asked to chug nearly a gallon of beer had completely turned Dan off.

Plus, Dan had met most of Chris’ fraternity brothers by this point, and the fact of the matter was they were all complete and utter fuck boys, and that just wasn’t Dan’s thing. Sure, he was a flirt, and at times he knew he could come off as a fuck boy himself, but it was never intentional. In fact, Dan wasn’t even sure when he was flirting, and more than once had inadvertently flirted with more than one classmate when he’d just been intending to borrow their homework.

His own personal awkwardness didn’t help. Dan had been on one too many agonizing, unintentional dates by now to be willing to put up with some hot older guy just for a booty call. He’d much rather be left alone, thank you very much, and if the way Chris had been encouraged to hook up with each and every girl he eyed up at one point or another, Dan was pretty sure that if he joined a frat as well they’d attempt the same thing on him, and he just wasn’t about that life.

No, Dan would much rather wither away in his own dorm room, doing his homework, drinking lonely, luke warm beers, and watching shitty tv shows than going out every weekend to party. Mostly.

But sometimes, when Chris invited Dan to a party, Dan just couldn’t help saying “yes.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to pledge this year? If a member swears you in, they’ll even give you a free pass and let you join late.”

Dan rolled his eyes at the age old question, and rolled his shoulders in reaction, hunching further in on himself as they approached the frat house where the party was being hosted. Chris had been begging Dan to join for weeks now, ever since Spring semester had begun and the fraternity had opened its doors for more pledges. Dan wasn’t even sure how many times he’d said no at this point.

“Yes, I’m sure Chris. I told you, fraternity’s just aren’t my thing.”

“But _Daaaan_ ,” Chris groaned. “It’d be so much fun. I swear, once you get past all the pledging, it’s just partying it up and hooking up and -”

“Literally everything I don’t particularly care for,” Dan replied, interrupting Chris before he could continue. Honestly, at this point, Dan just didn’t want to hear it anymore. He’d been given this talk by Chris every day for the last week, not to mention back when he’d first started at university and he was trying to convince Dan that life in the fraternity house was ten times better than life in the dorms. He didn’t need to hear another round of it now. “I’m serious, Chris. I’m not pledging.”

“Fine then,” Chris shot back. “Your loss then.”

Dan just snorted in response. He didn’t particularly agree with Chris there, but there was no point in saying so now.

They were nearly at the frat house anyway. Chris had picked Dan up after his last class had ended that Friday afternoon, and they’d played mario kart in Dan’s dorm room before the party. Now, Dan was kind of wishing they could be back there, despite having actually been in the mood to chat up cute boys and drink beer all night for once. Seeing Chris’ frat house stood in front of him was starting to make Dan regret that decision, however.

The whole place was a mess. Dan could hear music blasting from the speakers from across the street, loud enough Dan already felt like he could feel the sound vibrating through his feet. There were people everywhere, spilling out of the doors _and_ the windows and onto the front lawn, from what Dan could see, and he didn’t even want to imagine what the backyard looked like. If he could trust his hearing, Dan was willing to bet there was a pool party going on back there, and he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to be anywhere near what was surely going to be a mess of _that_.

As the two boys crossed the street onto the pavement in front of Chris’ frat house, someone suddenly shouted “Incoming!” and a bottle of wine went sailing over Dan and Chris’ head. They both ducked, just in time, too, as the bottle nearly collided with Dan’s head, and shattered on the street just behind Dan.

There was a loud commotion as Dan cautiously stood back up, eyes wide, and then a group of boys went rushing past Dan, all dressed in flimsy unitards that honestly showed _way_ too much of their bits for even Dan’s comfort. From beside him, Dan heard Chris laugh and shout after whom were obviously pledgers, something about moving faster, but honestly, Dan wasn’t listening - he was far too busy staring at the man who’d thrown the wine bottle that had nearly collided with his head as he slowly made his way over to where Chris and Dan stood, staring and laughing after the pledgers he’d clearly intended to make run faster as well with that ill timed bottle throw.

Dan might have been glaring. The Alpha Beta Pi member didn’t seem to notice, however. He didn’t even seem to be looking at Dan; instead, he was smiling far too wide at Chris, his grin showing off his gums and his tongue poking out of one side of his mouth in a way that was _not_ allowed to be sexy. His eyes, Dan couldn’t help noticing, were an electrifying bluey-green, and in any other situation, Dan was certain he would have wanted to chat this guy up.

But alas, not only was he a fraternity member, but he was a fuck boy to boot.

“Hey Chris!” the guy greeted, sending a cheery smile at Chris, before turning smoldering eyes onto Dan. His smile turned into more of a smirk as he very obviously gave Dan a once over, checking him out in a way that made Dan feel overly exposed. Normally, that kind of look would have made him feel hot all over, but in this situation, Dan just felt annoyed. “Who's your friend?” he asked, without taking his eyes off of Dan.

Dan crossed his arms over his chest and glared, not bothering to answer even though he knew the guy had probably intended for Dan to fall into his arms.

“This is Dan, that guy I was telling you about. I still can’t convince him to join our frat!” Chris complained. He was also smiling as he slung an arm over Dan’s shoulders and pulled him in close. “Maybe you could convince him, Phil?”

“Maybe,” the guy, Phil, agreed, and Dan couldn’t help rolling his eyes.

“You wish,” he muttered. Phil was wearing some kind of gross fraternity polo, the same one Chris was wearing, and his pink shorts were way too high up on his waist. He looked like a complete and utter ponce. Dan grimaced as he took this in.“Maybe if you hadn’t nearly decked me with a bottle of wine on our first meeting,” Dan stated, none too gently pulling out from under Chris’ arm and sauntering right past fuck boy Phil and his asshole best friend.

Chris laughed, but Dan could practically feel Phil staring at his ass, and it only annoyed him more. Wasn’t the idiot listening to a word he said? Clearly, he wasn’t interested.

“Would it help if I said I was sorry?”

“Nope, sorry!” Dan shouted back, and didn’t bother to turn back around. Phil didn’t stand a chance, tonight or any other night. Dan didn’t _do_ one night stands, especially not with fuck boys like Phil.

“What about if I promised to not do it again?”

Dan didn’t deign Phil with an answer, and instead disappeared inside, the sounds of Chris’ laughter following behind him.

The frat house was just as stuffy as Dan had been imagining it would be. It was packed with girls and boys alike, all rubbing up against each other as they attempted to move around. The music was even louder inside, nearly shattering Dan’s ears drums, but he did his best to tune it out as he wiggled past a group of dancing girls. One of them tried to drag Dan into their bustling bodies, but Dan made a face and yanked away.

He just wanted to make his way to the kitchen to get a beer, and then, maybe, he’d find some nice boy to chat up. Maybe if he was lucky, he’d manage a date out of the night, too. Yeah, that would be the dream.

Dan should have known better than to think any part of this would be pleasant, however. The moment that he stepped into the kitchen, he was assaulted by a scent so putrid he nearly puked. He had to close his eyes and shut his nose in order to regain his sense of where things even _were_ , and then, when he opened his eyes again, he was met with nothing other than the sight of two boys tying a third boy - another pledge wearing at too-tight unitard - onto the ceiling lamp so that he could suck beer out of a long straw connected to a too-full _fish tank_ of beer.

The nausea was already setting in for Dan when he wobbled past the mass of people gathered to watch and snatched a beer for himself. He wasn’t sure if the chanting was his own heartbeat in his ears, or the fraternity members in their pink shorts screaming “chug chug chug chug chug!” All he knew was that he was relieved the second he escaped the kitchen.

His feet took him back into the overly packed living room, where girls and boys were gyrating on each other now with the change of music to a too sexual song. Dan still preferred this to the scene in the kitchen, and he popped the tab on his beer as he found a place to stand in a far corner that was, unfortunately, occupied with couples making out, hands down pants, and up t-shirts. Dan tried not to stare too hard at the two very obvious guys jerking each other off next to him.

Thankfully, he found that he was not alone.

Near him stood another boy, this one shorter than Dan - unlike Phil who had, miraculously, been _taller_ \- with deep red hair and brown eyes. Dan could see him darting glances at the couple near them, cheeks a deep red of embarrassment that was honestly so endearing that Dan kind of just wanted to gather the poor guy up in his arms and take him away from here.

He didn’t do that. Instead, he sidled in closer, and leant over so he could whisper in the guy’s ear.

“Kinda awkward, huh?”

Red head turned to stare at Dan with wide eyes, his cheeks only turning a deeper red at being caught, but Dan merely shook his head with an easy going smile. He didn’t want to embarrass the poor kid, after all.

“And hot, if I’m being honest,” Dan added, this time allowing his voice to go a bit more deep, and a bit sultry, so the guy would know Dan was interested as well. This time, when he pulled back to look at the kid, his pupils had gone a little bigger, and he was licking his lips with a shy little grin of his own that told Dan maybe he would have some luck tonight after all.

How he ended up being one of the guys in the corner making out with some dude, Dan wasn’t sure, but he found he didn’t _totally_ mind. If the way the guy was grinding into Dan’s crotch, he’d say the other guy didn’t mind either, but then again, Dan _really_ wasn’t into the whole one night stand kind of thing, and he definitely wasn’t drunk enough to just say “fuck it,” and get the poor kid off right then and there.

Thankfully, or not so gratefully, depending on how you look at it, Dan needing to end this thing before it could start ended up not being so difficult after all. Just as the red head was moving to shove his hand down Dan’s pants, and Dan was moving to pull himself away, something cold and wet dripped over the ginger’s head, splattering Dan’s face some, and making the guy pull back from Dan so abruptly that Dan nearly fell, having to catch himself on the wall next to them.

“The fuck!” Dan thought he heard the kid shout, only to look up himself and find none other than Phil stood next to them, looking far too delighted for someone who had apparently “accidentally” spilled a cup of beer all over Dan’s… _friend_.

He didn’t even know the poor kids name. Dan didn’t know whether to be more frustrated with himself, or Phil for interrupting them.

“Sorry, mate!” Dan heard Phil shout over the music, shrugging his shoulders delicately while the other boy glared at him. His delightful flush from before was gone, completely replaced with eyes full of rage. Dan didn’t even get a chance to try and grab the guys number before he stormed off, shaking his head and appearing to mutter to himself as he pushed through the crowd of people still taking up far too much room. Suddenly, the room was far too hot and stuffy.

Dan turned to glare at Phil, fully intending to tell the guy off for interrupting him - despite some part of Dan being relieved that he had - when Phil sauntered closer and took the red head’s place in Dan’s personal space. Dan was too stunned, at first, to stop him.

“And sorry to you, too, hot stuff. I didn’t mean to interrupt your uh - _activities_ ,” he murmured, so close to Dan’s ear that the huskiness of his voice actually sent a thrill of _want_ up Dan’s spine. He had to shake his head in order to wipe the wide eyed look off of his face, and did his best to glare at Phil all over again. “Maybe I could finish up where your friend left off?”

Phil hardly got a chance to place his hand over Dan’s overly interested dick before Dan was reaching up and _shoving_ him bodily away. His cheeks were flaming red, and he couldn’t deny that Phil was turning him on, but that didn’t change the fact that he was a fuck boy and clearly just wanted to fuck Dan.

Well, Dan wasn’t going to let him.

“Fuck off!” Dan yelled, furious as he glared at the frat boy in front of him. Phil’s eyes were wide and suddenly uncertain, exactly the way Dan thought they should be. “I don’t _do_ one night stands, and you should really learn some manners. You can’t just pour a drink on someone's head because you wanna tap what they’re trying to tap!” Dan practically growled, pushing in close to Phil so that the dark haired boy could hear him. Despite Phil being taller than him, Dan merely craned his neck to glare at him, and pushed him again for good measure. Phil’s fringe swung into his eyes, making him look so much more fuckable than before, but Dan ignored that part of his brain. “Leave me the hell alone.”

Phil was too stunned to respond, which was all well and good for Dan, who turned on his heel and stalked away. If he had to shove past a few onlookers, well, so be it. It wasn’t as if Dan was planning on showing up here again for a long while anyway.

\--

Except, then he did. A week later, Dan found himself being dragged along back to Chris’ frat house under the guise of Chris needing help with his maths homework, only for Dan to realize with a groan that he’d been snagged along to join another party. This time, it was Sunday night, and Dan was honestly surprised anyone had shown up to the Alpha Beta Pi frat house for a party just before classes started up again the next morning.

If Dan had been feeling any more contrary, he might have turned around the moment he’d realized there was another party going on and instead headed back home, but as it was, he was already there and being promised free beer, so Dan allowed Chris to drag him across a less rowdy filled front yard and into the frat house to the kitchen. There was another weird smell in the air and a row of pledgers tied up and on their knees with their mouths wide open while a group of frat boys walked back and forth pouring beer down their throats, but Dan did his best to ignore it all until he was safely outside again and chilling with Chris near the pool.

The party was smaller than the last, but no less rowdy. There was a group of students in the pool having what looked like a weird cross between chicken and an orgy, and another group doing some kind of drugs on the other side of Dan and Chris. The rest of the people outside were screaming and laughing as they played what looked like a game of beer pong, and chatted in small groups over the loud sound of the music coming from within. Dan’s feet were swinging softly in the pool, shoes and socks stacked beside him so he wouldn’t lose them.

Despite having come technically against his will, Dan felt pretty content and relaxed as he and Chris laughed at the failing girls who’d just fallen off some frat guys’ shoulders and into the water below. Dan, however, looked away when bras started coming off, while Chris laughed and wolf whistled in delight.

The beer in Dan’s hand was thankfully cold, and it tasted alright too. He wasn’t sure one beer was going to get him tipsy, but he could at least enjoy himself with it. As he glanced around the backyard, however, he found himself coming face to face with none other than the guy from the week before - Phil.

Dan rolled his eyes before he could help himself, and then rolled them again when Phil spotted him and his face seemed to light up. It didn’t really make sense to Dan, who chose to view the expression as a predatory one, and he turned away again to the couples now making out in the pool while the party goers around them cheered them on. He wasn’t particularly interested in the boobs suddenly spilling everywhere, but it was better than paying any attention to Phil.

As luck would have it, however, Phil wasn’t one to give up as easily as Dan had hoped.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Phil greeted. Dan looked up only to find Phil looming over him, that same cocky grin from last week greeting him, and promptly looked away again.

“I’d say the same to you, but I’d much rather not be seeing your face right now.”

Chris spluttered from next to Dan, looking completely and utterly shocked. Dan wasn’t entirely sure why.

“Dan!” he shouted, half scandalized, half amused. “I thought you liked Phil!”

“What gave you that impression?”

This time, Phil made a wounded sound, and Dan found himself rolling his eyes all over again. Carefully, Dan pulled his feet away from the water, and stood, his serenity ruined. There was no use hanging out by the water anymore, let alone at the party.

Chris couldn’t seem to help himself as he started to laugh loudly behind Dan’s back. Dan couldn’t see his face, but he was willing to bet it had already turned red from the effects of the alcohol they were drinking. Chris had always been kind of a lightweight.

“Sorry, mate. Thought you’d make a better impression than that,” Chris said. Dan couldn’t help his snort as he leaned over to gather up his shoes and socks.

Before he could manage to pull them back on, however, Phil stepped forward, words tumbling from his mouth that Dan mostly couldn’t hear, and sent Dan tumbling backwards and into the water below.

“Dan, wait. I’m really sorry about last week, I - _Dan!”_

The splash was spectacular, at least from Dan’s point of view. There was the sudden, abrupt sensation of falling, followed by a piercing cold that rattled Dan to his bones, and then a rush in his ears that told him he’d just gone under. The rest of the world above him suddenly became muffled, both visually and audibly, all as Dan inhaled deeply and held his breath. His arms pinwheeled aggressively as he attempted to push himself back up and out of the water, but his clothes dragged at him, and for a moment, he felt nothing but panic.

Then, Dan managed to break through the top of the water, and gasped in a deep breath, hands fumbling for the edge of the pool. What he found instead were cold hands, grabbing hold of him, and hauling him out of the water nearly as fast as he’d fallen in. Instantly, Dan collapsed onto solid grown, and fumbled in his pocket to yank out his phone, doing his best to toss it away from in the hopes that he could save it from total water damage.

For a long moment, Dan just lay there. He thought someone might have been saying his name, an attempt at his attention over the loud sounds of the party continuing on normally around them, but Dan ignored the voice. He was much more focused on catching his breath, and calming down enough to try and figure out what the fuck had just happened. He was stunned, to say the least, freezing cold and absolutely shivering as his body tried to adjust to the light breeze moving across the backyard.

He still wasn’t entirely certain what had happened, but he did know that it was all Phil’s fault.

“Dan, I am so, so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean to -” Dan could hear Phil saying, but he wasn’t really listening. Slowly, he opened his eyes, only to find Phil leaning over him, frantically wiping Dan’s phone dry on his stupid white polo t-shirt, and casting constant, worried glances over at Dan, who was still trying to recover his breathing.

His glare must have come through, however, as Phil finally stopped moving when he caught sight of it and just kind of froze.

“Didn’t I tell you to leave me the fuck alone?” Dan growled. He couldn’t help the venom in his voice. He was _pissed_. “Now look what you’ve done! I swear to god, if my phone is broken -”

“I’ll pay for it!” Phil instantly interrupted him, staring at Dan with pleading eyes. Dan clenched his hands into fists at his sides. Phil was probably some kind of a rich kid, and he was probably used to buying himself out of these kinds of situations. The thought of that just pissed Dan off even more. Pushing himself up into a sitting position, Dan reached out and snatched his phone away from Phil’s suddenly limp hands.

“Whatever,” he replied, shrugging Phil off. Gently, Dan pushed himself to his feet, and leaned over to snatch his socks and shoes up again. “I don’t care. Just stay away from me from now on, okay?” he snapped.

Dan didn’t give Phil a chance to respond. Instead, he turned on his heel and walked away. He didn’t even bother to respond to Chris’ worried shouts of his name behind him. He just wanted to get away. Why did Phil have to piss him off so much?

\--

Dan mostly ignored Chris’ ensuing apologies over the course of the next two weeks. They were best friends, but that didn’t mean Dan necessarily had to forgive the shithead right away. Besides, it seemed the only way Dan was going to get out of being pushed into pledging for a fraternity Dan wanted nothing to do with, he was going to have to freeze Chris out, at least for a little while.

The break from the parties turned out to be something that Dan had definitely needed. He wasn’t a particularly extroverted person, after all, and much preferred to spend time in his own company to being surrounded by lots of noise and action. While his TV blaring shitty sitcoms in the background didn’t much bother Dan, loud, drunk people at a party did.

It definitely helped that no longer visiting Chris’ fraternity meant Dan no longer had any chance of running into Phil, especially after the pool incident. Dan wasn’t sure what Phil had been trying to pull that night, but he definitely didn’t want to have any part on it.

Thankfully, Chris didn’t bring Phil up at all when he did text Dan. Mostly, he just groveled for forgiveness until Dan agreed to let him off the hook, if, and only _if_ , Chris would lay off on asking him to join his fraternity. Chris promised on the condition that Dan consider joining _next_ semester. Figuring it was the best he was going to get, Dan shot back a quick text of agreement, and then settled himself back down on his bed.

His dorm was miniscule, nothing like Chris’ massive, shared dormitory in the fraternity house, but Dan didn’t care. His own room was his own room, and he much preferred his privacy to sharing with another individual, no matter how much extra room that ensured.

Dan was just rolling over in his bed to grab one of his law textbooks when his phone went off with another text, followed by another, and then another.

Sighing loudly in annoyance, Dan abandoned his quest to do some homework, and picked his phone back up.

The first two were from Chris.

_(16:02) thk u thk u thk u_

_(16:02) also uh plz dnt get mad_

But the third was from a number Dan didn’t know.

_**(16:02) hi** _

Dan opted to text Chris back, before even venturing close to the unknown number.

(16:06) what did u do

_(16:08) a certain sm1 might have bin asking 4 ur #_

_(16:09) n i might hv givn it 2 him_

(16:11) if ur talking about who i think ur talking about we arent friends anymore

_(16:14) its phil_

Dan nearly slammed his head into the floor when he finally received Chris’ response, and he groaned loudly into his pillow. The previously innocuous “hi” from before suddenly seemed like a snarling creature to Dan, and he couldn’t stop picturing the way Phil had gotten all up and in his space that night at the first party.

Phil must think Dan was some kind of slut or something, sleeping around with anyone who showed him the slightest bit of interest. Maybe part of that was _Dan’s_ fault, but that didn’t change the fact that Phil was a fuck boy. First, he’d tossed a literal bottle of wine over Dan’s head in order to get his fraternities pledges to run faster, laughing all the while, then he’d tried to flirt with Dan and offer him sex or something in order to get him to join the fraternity, not only dumped beer on some guys head but then tried to hook up with Dan afterwards, and finally quite literally shoved Dan into a pool before offering him money in order to get Dan to forgive him.

Who did this guy think he was to be harassing Dan like this?

(16:17) dont text me

_**(16:17) please dan i just want to say im sorry** _

(16:19) fine. apology accepted

_**(16:19) really? :D** _

(16:26) no

_**(16:29) :(** _

*

_**(17:04) why do you hate me?** _

(17:17) where do i begin

(17:18) maybe bc u physically assaulted me twice and now ur harrassing me

(17:18) plus ur a fuck boy

_**(17:21) but im not :((** _

(17:24) sure u arent

_**(17:24) let me prove it to you** _

(17:26) why should i

_**(17:27) because you think im cute :)** _

(17:31) ur really not doing urself any favors right now

_**(17:36) you didnt disagree :D** _

**_(17:42) cmon please. just give me a chance?_ **

(17:54) …

(17:58) fine, but dont expect me to do u any favors

(17:59) ur on your own mate

_**(18:01) :D** _

Dan didn’t get another response, so he figured Phil was done for the night. With a rather relieved sigh, Dan tossed his phone onto his bedside table, and returned to his attempt to work on his homework.

Who knew when Dan first decided to take up law, that it would be so boring?

\--

The text messages started out innocently enough. Dan had honestly been expecting more flirting, or some really awkward attempt to get to know him that would alert Dan to Phil’s intentions; which were an attempt to make Dan think Phil actually cared before he started asking for dick pic’s or some shit like that.

What actually happened was quite the opposite. Despite Dan being _pretty certain_ Phil was just playing the long game, he was quite good at acting.

If Dan didn’t know any better, he’d agree that Phil wasn’t, in fact, a fuck boy after all.

*

_**(17:52) so what are you studying?** _

(18:12) law

_**(18:19) really? cause you don’t look like a law kid** _

**_(18:21) more photography_ **

**_(18:21) or arts_ **

(18:32) what r u trying to say?

_**(18:34) that your too cute for law? :D** _

**_(18:42) sorry. i just meant you dont look like the type to want to make the world a better place or something_ **

(18:59) clearly u kn nthing abt law

(19:01) most of my classmates r doing it for the money

_**(19:04) oh. sorry. i just thought it looked a little boring for you** _

**_(19:31) dan?_ **

(19:47) its fine

_**(19:49) :(** _

**_(19:51) im studying film btw_ **

(3:51) of course u r

_**(7:09) i hope you have a good day :)** _

*

_**(19:54) what do you do in your free time?** _

(20:13) y do u care?

_**(20:17) i told you, because i like you** _

(20:56) u never told me that

_**(21:01) i didn’t?** _

**_(21:05) i guess i didn’t :(_ **

**_(21:06) well i do. and that’s why i wanted to apologize the other day...and prove that i’m not a fuck boy :(_ **

**_(21:35) dan?_ **

**_(21:49) please talk to me :( you promised you’d give me a chance :((((_ **

**_(22:32) please?_ **

(5:09) i like video games. and anime. and solitude

_**(8:10) really? i love video games :D i’ve never seen anime before though** _

**_(8:15) also how come your always up so late?_ **

**_(8:21) dan?_ **

(12:04) cant sleep.

(12:07) start with avatar:the last airbender and maybe well talk

_**(14:35) okay! :D** _

*

_**(10:08) just saw the cutest pupper ever** _

**_(10:09) kind of reminded me of you actually :D_ **

(10:48) unless it was a shibe i dont believe u

_**(10:49) it was a newfoundland** _

(11:02) i literally hate u rn

_**(11:05) he was cute. just like you :)** _

**_(11:07) and giant_ **

(11:09) ...fuck off

*

_**(8:08) who invented 8am lectures?** _

**_(8:13) i feel disgusting_ **

**_(8:16) can i go back to bed now_ **

**_(8:21) daaaaaaaaan_ **

**_(8:25) i’m only two years above you there is no way you dont have any 8ams_ **

**_(9:15) seriously?_ **

(10:05) have u started avatar yet

_**(10:18) yes!!! its so good. i feel so bad for aang** _

**_(10:42) whose your favorite character?_ **

(12:33) Zuko

_**(12:51) your into the villians then i take it?** _

**_(12:53) mines Sokka :D_ **

(13:11) of course it is

(13:12) just keep watching

*

_**(2:54) omg. Zuko :((((** _

**_(3:21) this is literally not fair_ **

**_(3:44) im not supposed to be rooting for the bad guy!!!_ **

**_(4:05) you didnt tell me it was like this!!!_ **

**_(4:31) stop ignoring me i know your awake!_ **

(5:55) text me when uve finished it

_**(7:01) i hate u** _

(7:14) i know

*

_**(14:08) im done** _

**_(14:09) im not crying you are_ **

(15:39) ur done?

_**(15:41) yes!!! It was so good!!!** _

**_(15:43) ive started on the sequel now_ **

**_(15:46) im not sure i like it so far though_ **

(16:00) DONT. STOP. DONT WATCH IT.

(16:01) ULL RUIN THE SANCTITY OF AVATAR.

(16:03) PHIL

_**(16:09) okay okay geez. ive stopped D:** _

**_(16:21) can we talk about Zuko though cause *heart eyes*_ **

Video Call: 2:44:54

*

_**(10:15) google says avatar isn’t a real anime** _

(11:45) its not

_**(12:09) but you saaaaaaid** _

(12:14) i told u to start with it not that it was an anime

(12:17) had to see if u were serious

_**(12:45) well obviously i was** _

**_(13:02) so whats your favorite anime then_ **

(13:59) *devil horns emoji*

(14:02) ever heard of clannad?

*

_**(4:22) i hate you** _

**_(4:24) im never speaking to you again_ **

*

_**(16:02) can i please have a happy one this time** _

(16:43) food wars

*

_**(19:04) thanks dan** _

*

_**(18:04) do you play fallout?** _

(18:10) yea

_**(18:07) great, listen. i maaaaaay be too low level to beat the Glowing One atm and it keeps killing me in one hit :(((** _

(18:09) omg u fkn loser

(18:11) go arnd him or smth

_**(18:15) daaaaaaaaaan, you know that wont work!** _

**_(18:16) unless you’ve never beat him either_ **

**_(18:17) thats it isn’t it? your just making fun of me cause you dont know how to beat it_ **

(18:17) exuse me?

(18:19) make sure uve got a bunch of grenades and molotovs cause ur gonna need em. head upstairs and starts tossing them throu the hole and onto that binch until it blows up

(18:21) did u do it?

_**(18:32) *sent a video*** _

(18:35) i culd have done it in 2 minutes

_**(18:37) thanks dan** _

(18:47) welcs

\--

After weeks of texting with Phil, Dan could almost count the guy as a friend, and part of him was even beginning to proper believe that Phil had been telling the truth when he claimed not to be a fuck boy. Not once had Phil attempted to send Dan nudes, nor had he again attempted to pick Dan up.

They’d moved on from purely texting, to video chatting from time to time, and though Phil still occasionally flirted with Dan, nothing ever seemed to escalate the way Dan had been expecting it to. In fact, after Phil had admitted to liking Dan, and that having been why he was so determined to prove to Dan that he was a good person, Phil had been quite the gentleman in every way.

Of course, that didn’t mean that Dan was ready to trust him completely. Despite numerous invitations for Dan to join Phil and his friends, or even _just_ Phil, doing anything, Dan had always said no. He just wasn’t ready to see Phil in person and ruin the small friendship they’d begun to build.

That was why, two months after the last Frat party Dan had been too, when Chris invited him to another one, Dan still declined.

*

_**(21:02) daaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. Rwre u?????** _

**_(21:05) chris said u were cming tonight_ **

**_(21:07) i jst wnna see uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu_ **

**_(21:12) how cum we neever hng in peeerson???_ **

(21:15) ur drunk phil

(21:21) r u at home?

_**(21:24) daaaaaaaaaaaan** _

**_(21:26) cme oveeeeeeeeeer_ **

**_(21:27) plese?_ **

**_(21:31) i mss ur cute bottommmm_ **

**_(21:36) i wanna lick u allllllll up_ **

**_(21:41) plesase daan?_ **

**_(21:56) *sent a picture*_ **

(22:10) go to bed phil. Please. I’ll talk to you in the morning.

*

_**(12:52) oh god** _

**_(12:54) i am so, so, so sorry dan, i swear i didnt mean anything by it_ **

**_(12:55) i mean i did but like i didnt_ **

**_(12:56) i was drunk_ **

**_(12:56) i swear im not normally like that_ **

**_(12:57) please forgive me_ **

**_(1:12) dan?_ **

(2:18) its okay.

\--

The truth was, it wasn’t okay. Dan was still reeling from the events of the previous night, when all of the hope he hadn’t quite realized he’d been building up in his head had come crashing down around him. For a moment, Dan had been certain that Phil hadn’t just been fucking with him the whole time. For a moment, Dan had thought that maybe, just maybe, he’d found a really hot guy who’d actually want to date him for him, and who could potentially actually share the same interests as him.

But then Phil had gotten drunk, and for all that Dan knew, the truth had come pouring out.

Phil still seemed to see Dan as someone easy, someone he wanted to fuck more than anything else. There hadn’t been any pronouncement of affection in those drunken texts; just naked sexual need.

The picture had been almost innocuous. It hadn’t been the dick pics Dan had been waiting for, just a shot of Phil with his shirt torn over his head and a leering grin, but it had still bellied the first image Dan had ever had of Phil being a fuck boy.

Had the last few weeks been nothing but a charade, then? Dan didn’t know. He couldn’t ever be entirely sure, but he did know that at least for right now, he needed a break from Phil.

\--

The party had seemed a safe enough bet. Dan had planned it perfectly. Chris had been talking about his Frat house hosting a party that Friday, and a classmate in one of Dan’s law classes had been talking about a party he’d heard about on Friday that was being hosted at some Alumni’s house. Dan had, naturally, assumed that there would be two parties that night and, chances were, Dan would not be running into Phil if he showed up at a party that was not associated with Phil’s house.

It seemed the perfect way to take a break from his… friendship with Phil if he were to go out and socialize with someone who was _not_ Phil.

Naturally, he’d been wrong.

The night had started off positively enough. Dan had shown up at the alumni’s truly massive house, just on the other side of campus with wide windows that took up so much of the wall space in the back they might as well not have been walls. The party had been in full swing, and Dan had slipped in almost unnoticed before moving swiftly to the kitchen to grab a beer.

Then, he’d found a corner to settle in, and waited for the flies to come dripping in.

Of course they had, and at first, Dan had thought it would be all right. There were a few obnoxious guys, as there always were, a few flirty girls who’d only had to hear Dan was very much so _gay_ before they walked away, and then, finally, someone who’d seemed just as awkward as Dan himself who stopped and chatted with him for a bit while he sipped at his beer.

Unfortunately for Dan, that guy didn’t last very long before he was replaced with… well, what Dan would call hell on earth.

His name was Logan, and he had a smile that could scorch the Earth. He was incredibly hot and he knew it, with curled, brown locks similar to Dan’s own if he actually chose not to straighten it, and incredibly warm brown eyes. His jaw could pierce glass, it was so sharp, and if Dan didn’t know any better, he’d want nothing more than to trail his lips over the delicious skin.

But Dan did know better, and the moment that Logan sidled up to Dan, he knew he was in trouble. They guy was _known_ for not being the most considerate when it came to “consent.” Don’t get Dan wrong, he’d never _actually_ done anything to hurt anyone, as far as Dan knew, but he _would_ push when someone said no to him. He didn’t quite know how to accept a rejection, and it usually ended up in the people he showed interest in, leaving the party early.

Which meant that Dan’s plan to forget about Phil for a little while tonight was officially over.

“Hey hot stuff,” Logan introduced himself, offering Dan that oh-so-charming smile of his that, usually, might disarm a person or two. Instantly, Dan felt his skin prickle in discomfort, and he offered Logan a bored glance.

“Not interested,” he replied. Dan already knew it wouldn’t be near enough to get Logan off his scent, but he could at least _try_ , and the best way to dissuade the guy was to start out the conversation with a quick rejection. Otherwise, he might just think he had a chance and try harder.

Logan pouted, a can of beer in his hands that he used to press against his cheek and attempt to make himself look cuter. Dan had seen the trick a thousand and one times in the past year and a half he’d been at Uni. It honestly did nothing to him anymore.

(Dan wasn’t going to mention the fact that it had once made his stomach flip.)

“Aww, come on, baby. I could show you a good time if you just gave me the chance.”

Refusing to meet Logan’s eyes, Dan merely shook his head, stoic, and knocked back the rest of his can of beer. He could feel Logan’s eyes on his adam’s apple as it bobbed, but Dan didn’t care. Plopping the can down on a surface nearby, Dan turned with the full intent to walk away.

Unfortunately for him, Logan wasn’t having that. Before Dan could get far at all, Logan’s hand wrapped around his wrist and pulled him back in place. Dan’s body moved of its own accord, then, and though he turned and found himself directly within Logan’s _very_ personal bubble, he yanked his wrist free from Logan’s clutches, and glared straight up into his pretty little face.

“Don’t touch me,” Dan hissed, teeth gritted as he glared. He was the slightest bit taller than Logan, something he was glad for, as he loomed over him. Surprised, Logan didn’t even seem to know how to respond to Dan’s sudden violent reaction, and he just stared for a moment. Taking advantage of Logan’s uncertainty, Dan reached up and shoved at Logan’s chest. “And I said I wasn’t interested. So back off.”

The party was loud around them. Dan watched as Logan glanced around the room, seeming to wonder if anyone had seen his rather shameful rejection. Dan merely continued to glare, hands clenched into fists at his sides. The corner they’d stood in was relatively dim, at least compared to the flashing lights in the middle of the room. No one was looking their way.

Finally, Logan turned to look back at Dan, a sneer on his face, and then, as if he hadn’t been the one rejected, turned on his heel and, with a rather ridiculous flourish, walked away.

Dan felt his shoulders slump in relief, but his night had been successfully ruined.

There was no point to him in staying at this party any longer. Taking a shuddering, and somewhat frustrated breath, Dan relaxed his hands, and turned to leave. He could feel his bladder weighing down on him with the urgent need to pee, so instead of heading straight for the front door to leave, Dan turned and walked down a hallway he’d spotted earlier.

There was no way he was going to walk all the way back to the dorms with a full bladder, no matter what he might accidentally see pushing open random doors in the strangers house.

The corridor was sort of long. Dan could see a garage door at the far end, propped open with a stick, and could smell weed wafting through. The air was so misty on the other side Dan couldn’t believe anyone could even breathe out there. On the right side, there were two doors, and on the left, an additional three. Dan could only hope that, of the five unidentified doors, one of them would be a bathroom.

As Dan walked, the loud sound of the music from the party continued to rock the house. There was screaming and shouts of laughter, the occasional broken moan that Dan didn’t want to identify, and so much chatter Dan almost felt like he was going to go deaf. People littered the hallway he walked through like cockroaches, slumped over each other or making out, some sat on the floor, and others flatout sleeping.

Dan tried the first door he came upon only to find it locked, knocked just to see if it might be a bathroom, and grimaced at the loud “Fuck off!” followed by a squeak of what Dan guessed might have been a sound of pleasure. Praying that that _wasn’t_ the bathroom, Dan continued down the hallway, and turned to the right to try another door.

This one was partially propped open, and what Dan found inside was the last thing he’d been expecting, and yet everything he’d known would come in the end.

The lights were dimmed when Dan peered in, a bedside lamp with a thick orange shade the only source of light in the entire room. There were three men stood at the foot of a bed - stood being put loosely. One was sat on the floor with his mouth on the dick of another man, whose trousers were pooled at his feet, and the other was sat on the edge of the bed stroking his own dick while he watched.

What shouldn’t have surprised Dan, and yet surprised him the most, however, was the sight of a familiar figure being the fourth person in bed, adorably rumpled, and propped up by a thousand pillows, watching the whole scene unfold with wide eyes.

Phil, the very person Dan had been avoiding all along, sat in a room where an apparent orgy was going on.

The sound that came out of Dan’s mouth was a complete accident. He hadn’t intended to give away his presence at all, and yet he couldn’t seem to help the pained grunt that escaped him. He felt like he’d been punched in the gut. Everything he’d thought was true about Phil _was_ true, and not it was glaring Dan in the face.

The flirting, the sexy pic, the drunken desire to fuck Dan, that had been the first straw, but still, Dan had hoped.

Now, he was crushed.

Instantly, as if having been waiting for a distraction, Phil’s gaze snapped up to meet Dan’s, and Dan watched as horror dawned on his expression. His mouth opened until he was practically gaping, and he reached out with unsteady fingers for Dan, who was suddenly grateful he was so far away.

“Dan,” Dan thought he saw Phil say, but he didn’t wait around for an explanation. He merely shook his head, turned on his heel, and fled.

His eyes burned, but Dan refused to let the tears drop as he took off for the front door of the Alumni house, and started the long trek home, bladder be damned.

\--

_**(22:07) its not what it looked like!** _

**_(22:15) i swear dan i wasnt involved in that!_ **

**_(22:45) please talk to me, i just want to explain what happened!_ **

**_(23:32) dan? Please, dan, please…_ **

*

_**(7:21) hi dan** _

**_(7:43) i feel like i really fucked up and i dont even really know what happened_ **

**_(7:51) i swear im not like that. Im not a fuck boy, im really not. no matter what you believe_ **

**_(8:01) please just… can i have one more chance?_ **

*

_**(16:03) hey. i hope your okay** _

**_(16:04) chris said you arent answering your phone_ **

**_(16:04) and that you havent been to class_ **

**_(16:05) i really messed up didnt i?_ **

**_(16:06) please just talk to me_ **

*

_***1 missed video call*** _

*

The clock glared at Dan, red letters unblinking as they ticked his life away. His hands felt numb under his pillow, eyes sore and tired from restlessness, and he was stiff all over. When was the last time he’d moved? Dan could hardly remember, except he could, because he’d been staring at his alarm clock for a good six hours now. Before that, he’d stared at his phone, eyes practically unblinking as he watched Phil frantically text him, over and over and over again.

He didn’t know what to believe, or what to think. All he knew was that he hadn’t really stopped crying since last night. He hadn’t wanted to cry, but he had, and it wasn’t until the first tear had dropped that Dan realized just how hopeful he’d really been.

Some part of him, no matter how Dan had tried, had begun to believe that Phil really had been telling the truth the whole time. Some part of him really had believed that Phil wasn’t a fuck boy, and that maybe, just maybe, Dan could have something with him after all.

But then he’d walked into Phil at that party, and now, Dan didn’t know what to believe.

His heart ached to give Phil that one more chance, to hear him out, but he didn’t know if that was really a good idea. What he’d seen… it had seemed pretty clear to him. Where could he have gone wrong? In what way could his impression be altered? Dan didn’t think it was possible, and so he’d laid in his bed since near midnight last night and just… stared.

He’d been so tempted, when Phil had video called him, to pick up. He’d been so tempted, more than once, to send an angry text, breaking up with a boy he’d never really been dating in the first place. He’d been tempted to throw himself into Phil’s arms and forgive him for everything if only he could just prove that what Dan had seen had been false.

But it was hard.

Dan didn’t know what to think anymore.

So in the end, he’d just laid in bed and left it there. It was easier not doing anything than trying to think of the right thing to do, after all.

Maybe it wasn’t the smartest thing, but it was the easiest, and right now, Dan just felt so numb that going the easy route just appealed to him so much more.

Dan’s phone beeped again, and for the first time in a while, Dan closed his eyes.

He knew it would be Phil with another pleading text, one that would shake at Dan’s nerves and break down his defenses the same way Phil had done in the last few weeks alone. He knew he shouldn’t read it, and yet he craved some kind of explanation, craved for Phil to just tell him what was going on.

He just wanted Phil to make things alright again.

And then, quite suddenly, Dan’s phone beeped again and again and again, so many times Dan lost count, and he found himself rolling over to grab at his phone in a panic, unsure what in the world might be going on.

_**(1:18) Dan: I understand why you don’t want to see me right now, and even why you aren’t responding to my texts. Or, at least, I think I understand. I just want you to know that I was never lying when I said that I liked you, and I wasn’t lying when I said that I wasn’t a fuck boy. I thought we were finally getting somewhere when I… well. I’ll explain in a minute. But I thought I should start at the beginning.** _

**_(1:36) When Chris brought you to our frat party earlier this semester, I was… well, incredibly attracted to you would be putting it lightly. I was completely enamoured. I wanted nothing more than a chance with you, but I thought, surely someone as attractive as this boy would never want anything more than a fling with nerdy old me, so I came on to you. I thought flirting was your game, and if I could just have you for even one night, that was better than nothing. But I was wrong, and you weren’t game for that, so you rejected me._ **

**_(1:36) The next time I saw you, you were making out with some guy and I thought maybe I’d just not been forward enough, that maybe you’d wanted me to chase you, so I got a little jealous and I spilled my drink all over him. I really didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or to accuse you of being easy or something when I… took his place. I just… wanted a chance with you, and I didn’t know how else to get it when, within an hour or two of meeting you, you’d hooked up with someone else._ **

**_(1:36) The night I pushed you into the pool was an accident. I’d just been meaning to apologize for the way I’d treated you, but I was tipsy and I got too close and you fell. I am still really sorry about that, by the way, but I also don’t really regret it because it got me your number from Chris and then we were talking. It was more than I’d ever anticipated getting._ **

**_(1:37) The last two months have been the best of my life. I know that sounds cheesy and stupid and you probably won’t believe me but I don’t care. They have been. I’ve gotten to know you, and tease you, and watch your favorite shows. We’ve had phone calls and skype calls and played stupid games with each other over the line and I just. I really like you, Dan. Even more than I did back when I first met you._ **

**_(1:37) Last night...last night was a mistake, but not the kind you think it was. I had gotten drunk, upset because you’d stopped texting me as much since I’d gotten drunk and flirted a little too blatantly with you, and I didn’t feel very well, so I went and found an empty room to nap in. The party we were at, that’s my brother Martyn’s house, and he was hosting, so I knew where all the guest rooms were. By the time I woke up, those three guys had wondered in, blasted out of their minds, and having a threesome or whatever, and that’s when I saw you._ **

**_(1:37) I swear, Dan, I wasn’t in on that. I’m not that kind of guy. Sure, I sleep around sometimes, but I would never, ever do that to you. I would never sleep around when I was with you, not even now, when I’m trying to be with you. You mean too much for me for that. I’d rather have you than anyone at all, even if having you just meant being your friend._ **

**_(1:37) So I’m sorry. I’m sorry I ruined everything and that I made you feel uncomfortable, or like I was a fuck boy, or whatever. But I just needed you to know the truth from me. I uh. I think I’m in love with you, Dan Howell, and if you’ll still have me, even just as a friend… well, just let me know._ **

The words blurred on the screen. Dan could feel his heart racing in his chest, the sound loud enough it beat at his eardrums, and he was shaking, as if a sudden chill had come over him. Dan curled further in on himself, and squeezed his eyes shut as he took in the last of the words.

His phone slipped from his hand and fell with a loud thud to the floor, but Dan didn’t care. He was too busy clinging to what he’d seen last night, clinging to the last three months in total, and trying to match Phil’s words up to Dan’s perceptions.

It all just felt so fucking surreal, so unreal. Dan didn’t know what to believe, but he wanted, ached, to believe every word that Phil had said. He wanted to cling to the hope he’d been feeling build within him since he’d first let his guard down and allowed Phil to text him, and he wanted to believe that maybe he and Phil really did have a chance after all.

But it was hard, and Dan found himself shaking far into the night, pillow stained with more unsure tears, as his heart squeezed so tight in his chest that Dan imagined this was what heartbreak felt like.

\--

“Hello?”

“ _Finally_ , fuck. Where have you _been_ , Dan!?”

“At home.”

“Yeah, I got that dumbass. I meant _why_. Phil’s been harrassing me for the last few days wondering what’s going on with you, and I’ve got to be honest mate, it’s starting to really get annoying.”

Dan didn’t really know how to respond to that. When he’d finally picked up the phone for Chris, the last thing Dan had been expecting was for his best friend to bring up Phil, of all people. Dan might have been offended if Chris hadn’t sounded so relieved and worried over the phone, but he did, and Dan knew that he’d truly worried him.

Rather than answering, Dan merely sighed and closed his eyes all over again. Phil, the messy conundrum that had kept Dan cooped up in bed for the last three days.

He hadn’t texted again since his long confession, but for once, Dan was glad. He’d needed time to process what he’d been told, and now, he needed time to decide if he believed Phil.

“Did that asshole do something to you?” Chris eventually asked when Dan didn’t say anything, “Cause you know I’ll kick his ass if he did. I don’t care if we’re fraternity brothers, you and I, we’re _real_ brothers.”

That was enough to shock a laugh out of Dan, who reached up in surprise when his lips pulled up in the first smile he’d felt in days. He shook his head as he remembered just why he loved Chris as much as he did, and listened as Chris continued on with long, drawn out threats of what he would do to Phil for hurting Dan the second that he got the chance.

Dan didn’t interrupt, because if he was being honest, right now he needed to hear it.

“... and feed them to the neighbors cat. I swear, Dan, I’ll do it if you ask me too! I won’t even hesitate! I’ll wear gloves and everything, they’ll never even know it was me!”

“It’s fine, Chris,” Dan finally interrupted, still laughing with a now-content smile on his cheeks. He could feel color returning to them, and reveled in feeling something other than _sad_ for the first time in days.

“Are you sure?” Chris asked immediately, still sounding fired up and ready to go.

“I’m sure,” Dan promised, and shook his head. Just the knowledge of what Chris would do for him warmed Dan, and suddenly made it easier for him to do what he’d been planning since he’d decided to pick up the phone when Chris called. Carefully, Dan cleared his throat, and allowed himself to fall back onto his bed. “I actually wanted to ask you something, if that’s okay.”

“Anything,” was Chris’ immediate response.

Dan shouldn’t have been surprised, and yet part of him still was. He reached up to card his fingers through curly hair, and sighed into the phone. He could feel his heart starting to race in anticipation just at the thought of how Chris might respond, but Dan was ready.

He’d given himself three days for this, and now, now he just needed one more thing.

“Dan?” Chris asked, when Dan didn’t speak again for too long.

Deciding it was nor or never, Dan just let the question loose.

“Has Phil had anyone over, like, _over_ , over, in the last few months?”

The line went dead silent for the first time since Dan had picked up the phone. He could feel his heart desperate to race right out of his chest, but Dan did his best to wait patiently for a reply, and to not hang up or take it back before Chris could tell him what he needed to hear.

He just needed to know. If even one person could just corroborate what Phil had claimed, even just that one tiny detail, Dan would feel safe enough to give him another chance.

And god, did Dan want to give him one more chance.

“Is that what this is about?” Chris finally responded, voice quiet, soft. “Are you interested in him?”

“Just answer the question,” Dan replied, trying and failing to keep his heart from leaping out of his throat. He choked on the words, and recognized that he’d inadvertently answered Chris’ question just with that.

On the other side of the line, Chris laughed, and suddenly, all of the tension that had lined Dan’s body seemed to drain away.

“No, Dan. Phil hasn’t seen anyone since he met you. Not even at parties.”

\--

Dan’s hands were shaking. He couldn’t seem to keep them still. His entire body felt like it was shaking, if he was being honest, but he wasn’t going to _admit_ to that that easily. It wasn’t as if anyone else could tell anyway. Other than his hands. But there was really nothing Dan could do about that.

Dan’s hands were shaking, and he was stood out back of Phil’s frat house, and his phone was in his hands. There was no one else around, but Chris had assured Dan that Phil would be home.

Dan had a plan. Sort of. But he couldn’t stop shaking. He’d never done this before, not really, and he was _nervous_ , okay? He might be a flirt and quite good at catching people’s interests normally, but this was Phil, and everything about Phil had been different.

So why should anything change now?

Dan’s hands were shaking, and he _really_ needed to just suck it up already before somebody else came along and everything fell apart.

So he took the leap.

(3:06) ur still a fuck boy

_**(3:07) dan! thank god you messaged me** _

**_(3:07) are you okay?_ **

**_(3:08) im so sorry. did you get my message from a couple days ago? i just want us to be okay_ **

(3:08) yea, i did

(3:08) and ur still a fuck boy

_**(3:09) im sorry** _

**_(3:09) thank you for texting me back_ **

**_(3:10) but i understand if you never want to hear from me again_ **

(3:11) who said anything abt that?

_**(3:11) ????** _

(3:11) come outside

This was it. Dan’s heart was racing inside of his chest, and his entire body was shaking. He shut off the screen on his phone, and slipped it easily into his pocket. For the first time in a long while, Dan actually felt hopeful, and when he heard the sound of footsteps approaching the door Dan stood at, he even felt safe.

The door opened, and Phil stood, wide-eyed, in the entryway. Dan thought he could even see Phil’s hands shaking just like his were. His expression was disbelieving, and Dan couldn’t even blame him for being guarded, unsure.

Carefully, Dan arranged his expression into a smirk.

“Dan?” Phil finally asked, his voice breathless. It sent a surge of affection through Dan to know that he could do that to Phil, that he’d been the one to make Phil willing to wait, to stick it out, to do anything just to get Dan.

Dan didn’t want Phil to have to wait anymore.

“Hi Phil. Are you going to invite me inside?” he asked, cocky as ever. He didn’t miss the way that his voice trembled, and with the way that Phil’s eyes widened even more, Dan didn’t think Phil missed it either.

“I - does this mean - can I -?” Phil stuttered, quite obviously completely stunned. Dan couldn’t help it - he laughed, and as Phil continued to sputter at him, Dan moved forward, and fit himself straight into Phil’s arms.

After so long of holding back, Dan felt like he’d come home.


End file.
